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Under Siege (1992)

At first glance Under Siege may seem to depart from the Seagal formula, but I assure you it does not. It follows the two word title rule well, and the lack of Seagal holding a gun on the poster is made up for by making his head take up roughly 30% of the poster (and another 50% by his shoulders). Seagal plays a cook in this movie, but he's a cook who used to be a Navy SEAL, so the character rule is covered. On the boat where Seagal cooks the captain is killed (by terrorists) and the ship is taken hostage and Seagal must kill a shitload of people to get the ship back!

And this is why I love Steven Seagal movies so much - (below)

The Steven Seagal Formula
What follows is the formula you must follow for a successful Steven Seagal movie. These rules can be bent or even ignored from time to time, but most of them must be followed for the movie to be a success.

Character
Cop or Cop-Like person (DEA, FBI, CIA, Marine etc, someone capable of kicking a lot of ass and not getting hurt a single bit).

Movie Title
Two or three words (usually) going by: 'verb preposition noun' or 'verb article noun'. For instance 'Out for Justice', 'Above the Law'. There can also be two prepositions or a preposition and an article or conjunction if needed, ie 'Out for a Kill'. Two word titles should go by the formula: 'verb noun' or 'adjective noun'. In the rare case of a one-word title always use a noun, but never a very menacing one. 'Ticker' and 'Clementine' are good examples. There are breaks from these formulas of course but sticking to it works best. It's also imperative that the title says a little as possible about the movie. Extra points if you can stick the words 'Steven Seagal is' right before the title and have it make sense (but not necessary). Good examples of Seagal movie titles would be: 'Back in the Game', 'Keeping it Cool', 'Deadly Finds' and 'Chestnut'.

Plot
Someone Seagal knows gets killed and he has to get to the center of some sort of gang or trouble to sort it all out, beating up and killing as many people as possible along the way. Men, women, children, cats, patio furniture; none of it is safe. Also there needs to be lots of guns and Seagal can not get hurt or killed (an exception to the last rule can be made once in a while though). Extra points if the plot involves drug dealers or terrorists.

Movie Poster
A close-up of Seagal holding a gun. Seagal must be the largest person on the poster, and if someone else is the same size as him, he needs to be obscuring their body. In the event that he is not holding a gun (for whatever reason) Seagal's face must be larger than normal, taking up as much poster space as possible. Tinting the poster blue is recommended but not necessary. A large explosion in the background is an acceptable alternative to a blue tint as well.

Now, for your viewing pleasure,